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I don't know if you guys know about this, but there is this crazy cookie dough craze going on in NYC right now. A new shop called Cookie Do opened last year and people are STILL waiting for HOURS to get their hands on some.
This got me thinking about the craziest irrational thing I have ever done. Everyone has done something crazy in their lives, but what about something that was both crazy and totally unnecessary?
Then it came to me. That time I voluntarily paid someone to shoot me in the face with a 6" needle in order to prepare for a first date.
Let me set the scene for you....I had been talking to this guy on Bumble for a few weeks. He seemed nice, smart and funny. He had a great job and I was pretty sure he wasn't a serial killer. To find ALL of those qualities in one guy is pretty rare these days. I think it's safe to say, I was pretty excited.
After three weeks of all day text conversations and busy schedules we finally made a plan to meet up. He was going away Saturday morning, but "we could do dinner Friday night" before he left. Perfect, I thought! This could be my last first date ever!
Friday morning came around and I woke up with a smile on my face excited for what was to come. The only problem was, I had a little headache. I went to the bathroom to get some Advil and BOOM. I saw it. A HUGE third eye smack in the middle of my forehead staring back at me.
Now I want you to understand the severity of the situation - this wasn't just a pimple - this was a growth - a mountain so big it had worked its way down to my eye and made it puff enough that it was difficult for me to open it all the way. Not really a good "first date meeting your potential soulmate" kind of look.
Panic set in. I immediately texted pictures to Sara. "We have a big problem".
She started calling doctors immediately. My date was in 12 hours. There had to be someone who could fix this. (It's unclear why I couldn't make the phone calls - but I think I was just overcome with panic I couldn't even think straight).
One dermatologist was booked for the day, one didn't answer, and one told her I needed to go to the emergency room immediately as I was in danger of losing my eye. I think it is safe to say that guy was a little dramatic, but that's not very comforting to hear from a medical professional. Finally she found one. I had an appointment at noon.
The nice doctor told me I wasn't in danger of losing my eye (thank god) and that she could give me a cortisone shot to make the swelling go down.
I told her to do whatever she needed to do.
Five minutes and $90 later, bodily fluids were flying in the air and a 6" needle was deep in my forward. It wasn't a pretty sight - but the little monster was already starting to calm down. I was going to be able to step out in public without scaring people. Things were going to be fine.
And they were...until I got a text saying "Hey I got caught up at work and I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. Can we do something next weekend?"
Excuse me....WHAT?! I literally just spent two weeks worth of groceries to get a shot to the face to prepare for this date. What do you mean you "got caught up at work?!".
I think it's safe to say, I was pretty upset, and I appropriately spent that Friday night eating pizza with Sara.
I now realize that this story really has absolutely nothing to do with cookie dough, but I hope you learned a few things from this post. A recap:
Also, in case you were wondering - when I did eventually meet up with him, I realized pretty quickly that this guy was NOT my soulmate.
*makes 30 sandwiches
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