I recently found a list of possible book titles for a book I wanted to write in college. My favorites included…
– How to Guarantee Yourself a Spot in the Friend Zone
– How Not to Flirt with Boys
– How to be Single…Forever.
– How to Avoid Relationships…Even if You Want One
I thought dating in college was terrible – or that I was just terrible at it. But now that I am out of college, I realize it’s not me that’s the problem, it’s dating. Dating is the problem.
Let me tell you why…
When I moved to NYC after college, I thought things would be different. People would be more mature now. For example, no one would be using their keg stand record as a pickup line – and on top of that, there was this whole new online dating world I had yet to tap into. I thought – this is great. A whole new way for me to meet people. And you always hear all these success stories about people finding love on these sites. “He was the first person I matched with” or “I talked to a few guys, but once I saw him, I knew.” And yes, this does happen. I have seen it happen. It just hasn’t happened to me. Not even close. I have been in the online dating game for two years now, and here I am…single as ever.
I have tried a lot of different things. And I have been on a lot of dates. I even took notes on this Ted Talk on how to hack online dating in order to increase my chances of finding love. It didn’t work. I have been ditched, belittled, and lied to. And even when I think I found a nice one…something happens. It just doesn’t work out. Dating is the absolute worst.
I have so many stories I could share, and probably will share down the line, but I am going to wrap it up since this is already a pretty long rant. Just know, that if you are out there feeling terrible about yourself, or that there is no hope in sight – you are not alone AND you are not the problem. Dating is. Dating is the problem. And probably one day, when I do find someone, I will look back and laugh at this post and say something super cheesy like “All those bad dates were worth it because it led me to the person I was supposed to be with.” And that’s fine. But right now, it sucks.
Now go make yourself some birthday cake truffles because they are delicious and way more reliable than any boy will ever be.
Oh, and if you really want to know how to guarantee yourself a spot in the friend zone – give me a call. I am basically a trained professional at this point.
BIRTHDAY CAKE TRUFFLES
- 1 large package of Oreos
- 1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese at room temperature
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 Tablespoons sprinkles + extra for decorating
- 1 lb. white melting chocolate
- Using a food processor, crush Golden Oreos until they resemble a fine crumble.
- In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, combine Oreo crumbs, cream cheese, sprinkles and vanilla extract. Mix on medium speed for 1 minute, and then on high speed until mixture is fully combined.
- Prepare a sheet pan with wax or parchment paper. With a spoon, scoop out a tablespoon worth of dough and roll into a ball. Place on prepared cookie sheet and put in the freezer for 20 minutes.
- Put melting chocolate in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave the chocolate in 30 second increments, stirring after each heating, until it is melted.
- Once it is fully melted, use a fork to roll each ball in the chocolate. Make sure the ball is completely coated before returning it to the sheet pan.
- Let truffles sit until chocolate is dry.
- Using a fork, drizzle melted chocolate on top of the truffles and add sprinkles.
- Allow them to dry before eating.